A Grateful Kiwi

I want to be a hot Latina. I've always wanted curves, long thick dark hair, and cocoa colored skin. Instead I find myself a cropped haired, pale, boy shaped woman. Are we ever happy with what we are? We constantly look to magazines, television and even to our peers to find a measuring stick upon which to compare ourselves. Am I tall enough? Am I thin enough? Is my hair the right style? Are my clothes fashionable? It's a never ending battle that I fight every waking moment of each day. Why do we do this to ourselves?

There are a lot of things that I can do to make myself look better on the outside. I exercise. I eat the right foods. I wear make up and style my hair. But, none of these actions will make me look anything like Salma Hayek. I'll never have enough money to jet off to Italy on a moments notice. No matter how much moisturizer I apply, I'll never look 22 again. Come to think of it, I don't think I looked 22 when I was 22. So what is the secret to being content with who we are right now?

Far from being a spiritual person, I think much can be said for being grateful for what we have. I'm not currently in a flood. I did not ride out an earthquake/tsunami. I'm not battling cancer nor are any of my favorite people. I'm not addicted to crack or meth or heroin. I have enough money to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. I don't wake up and have to worry that I may be eaten by something with sharp teeth and claws hiding in the long grass each day. These are real concerns for a good portion of the world on a daily basis.

I will probably always compare myself to 18 year old Victoria Secret models because I'm broken. My self image is tweeked and I've given up trying to fix it. However, I think it's important to realize just how lucky I am. And, as my outside continues to deteriorate with the wear and tear of life, I'm going to try to become a kiwi. Ugly, furry and nasty on the outside, but sweet and colorful on the inside.